“You see I got this problem
I need help tryna solve it
Cos meeting after meeting and I’m still a cookie holic
You can hide them, Imma find them, on the counter, in the closet
And I’ll say I ain’t do it with my face covered in chocolate
I got a thing for Milano, Biscotti Italianos
And I never turn down some Oreos if you got those
Butter Pecan Puerto Rican,
Or them Oatmeal Raisin Asians.
Double stuffed or thin mint
It don’t matter you gettin’ it
Cos I got a sweet tooth that’ll never come loose
And the fact of the matter is
I can’t keep my hands off the cookie jar“
- by Gym Class Heroes, taken from the album The Quilt (2008)
It’s hard to look innocent when I got cookie crumbs all over my face. I’ve concluded that Chinese New Year is a perfect excuse to pig out. Yea, so is Christmas, Aidilfitri, Deepavali, Mid Autumn Festival, Easter, Ma’al Hijrah, birthdays, promotions and so forth; leaving us with only less than half a year in totality to go on a crash diet regime and repeat the same insane routine the next half of the year. It’s no wonder that we feel fat all the time.
But when it comes to the Chinese Lunar New Year, one is expected to eat in abundance as it is a sign of prosperity. And the more you stuff your face with expensive ingredients and dishes with just as extravagant names, the more you’ll prosper. Well, it is believed so. And who are we mere mortals of Chinese descent’s gonna argue that right? After all, don’t we all want to prosper? Screw the Gregorian New Year resolution diet, we’ll deal with the ‘prospering’ gut later.
So, in my bid to make it big, so to speak, I keep loading myself every now and then with various little New Year goodies. Namely cookies ’cause Lord knows this monkey has a sweet tooth. Chirpy Crispy Cornflakes, Happiness in Almond , Rich Macadamia Nutty Chocolate Chip, Grand Dragon Biscuit, Good Ol’ Oatmeal Raisin, Melting Moments, ‘Kenny Mah‘ Love Letters *smirk* and the list goes on. With tempting names like that, how is this monkey supposed to stop. And speaking of stop, there’s no stopping me now that the new jar of Pineapple Tarts has just been popped. “Ong Lai!*”
I reckoned we need all the help we can for this year, since everyone’s talking about a tough year ahead. So if eating is going to help, I say why not. After all, a well-fed monkey is a happy monkey. And it’s important to start the new Lunar year on a positive note. Oh speaking of which, I’ve yet to have my helping on some ‘Yee Sang‘. Better hurry before I run out of luck.
And since I’ve not exercised in a while, I’m following Fatboybake‘s cue of not replying any of the mass-sms greetings ’cause I’m getting fat and lazy. Don’t take it the wrong way, I still love all of you who’ve sent them. So sweet.
Now, will you excuse me while I get back to my Ong Lai tarts… unless you’ve got some ang pows for me. *angelic smile*
Wishing everyone a prosperous New Year!
* Ong Lai: Hokkien dialect for Pineapple. The word also phonetically sounds like “Prosperity Come!” in Hokkien.