To Prosper or Not to ‘Prosper’?

“You see I got this problem
I need help tryna solve it
Cos meeting after meeting and I’m still a cookie holic
You can hide them, Imma find them, on the counter, in the closet
And I’ll say I ain’t do it with my face covered in chocolate
I got a thing for Milano, Biscotti Italianos
And I never turn down some Oreos if you got those
Butter Pecan Puerto Rican,
Or them Oatmeal Raisin Asians.
Hazelnut Brazilians,
Macadamia Caucasians,
Double stuffed or thin mint
It don’t matter you gettin’ it
Cos I got a sweet tooth that’ll never come loose
And the fact of the matter is
I can’t keep my hands off the cookie jar
- by Gym Class Heroes, taken from the album The Quilt (2008)

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CNY2009_1.jpg

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It’s hard to look innocent when I got cookie crumbs all over my face. I’ve concluded that Chinese New Year is a perfect excuse to pig out. Yea, so is Christmas, Aidilfitri, Deepavali, Mid Autumn Festival, Easter, Ma’al Hijrah, birthdays, promotions and so forth; leaving us with only less than half a year in totality to go on a crash diet regime and repeat the same insane routine the next half of the year. It’s no wonder that we feel fat all the time.

But when it comes to the Chinese Lunar New Year, one is expected to eat in abundance as it is a sign of prosperity. And the more you stuff your face with expensive ingredients and dishes with just as extravagant names, the more you’ll prosper. Well, it is believed so. And who are we mere mortals of Chinese descent’s gonna argue that right? After all, don’t we all want to prosper? Screw the Gregorian New Year resolution diet, we’ll deal with the ‘prospering’ gut later.

So, in my bid to make it big, so to speak, I keep loading myself every now and then with various little New Year goodies. Namely cookies ’cause Lord knows this monkey has a sweet tooth. Chirpy Crispy Cornflakes, Happiness in Almond , Rich Macadamia Nutty Chocolate Chip, Grand Dragon Biscuit, Good Ol’ Oatmeal Raisin, Melting Moments, ‘Kenny Mah‘ Love Letters *smirk* and the list goes on. With tempting names like that, how is this monkey supposed to stop. And speaking of stop, there’s no stopping me now that the new jar of Pineapple Tarts has just been popped. “Ong Lai!*”

I reckoned we need all the help we can for this year, since everyone’s talking about a tough year ahead. So if eating is going to help, I say why not. After all, a well-fed monkey is a happy monkey. And it’s important to start the new Lunar year on a positive note. Oh speaking of which, I’ve yet to have my helping on some ‘Yee Sang‘. Better hurry before I run out of luck.

And since I’ve not exercised in a while, I’m following Fatboybake‘s cue of not replying any of the mass-sms greetings ’cause I’m getting fat and lazy. Don’t take it the wrong way, I still love all of you who’ve sent them. So sweet.

Now, will you excuse me while I get back to my Ong Lai tarts… unless you’ve got some ang pows for me. *angelic smile*

Wishing everyone a prosperous New Year!

Glossary
* Ong Lai: Hokkien dialect for Pineapple. The word also phonetically sounds like “Prosperity Come!” in Hokkien.

12 Responses to To Prosper or Not to ‘Prosper’?
  1. Life for Beginners
    January 27, 2009 | 2:38 pm

    ‘Kenny Mah’ Love Letters?? Who co-opted my name and branded their own CNY snacks, who, tell me who???

    … Okay, maybe that was a sugar-high from one too many Drinho’s. :P

    I’m with you and FBB also lah. Malas nak reply… :P

  2. qwazymonkey
    January 28, 2009 | 1:03 pm

    LFB: Get over yourself. There could be another KM around u know. And probably just as sweet-mouth too. Hehe how does it feel not to be “special”?

    Sugar high on drinho? *cringe* Your next post’s gonna be sweeter than mamak’s teh tarik?

  3. Lyrical Lemongrass
    January 29, 2009 | 4:27 pm

    Hehe, I definitely believe in being prosperous. Can’t let all that good stuff go to waste. Hmmm….I’ve done quite a bit of lou-sang-ing already. Next time I call you, k!

  4. drownedglass
    January 30, 2009 | 1:06 am

    Happy new year, doll! Save some cookies for me!

  5. fatboybakes
    January 30, 2009 | 3:10 am

    snigger, dont drag ME into your sms malaise…
    hilarious as usual….
    i know, i think i need to emigrate if i want to lose weight…we just have TOO many holidays. heck, the next two mondays are pubic holidays too.

  6. qwazymonkey
    January 30, 2009 | 11:56 am

    LL: I only had my first lou-sang yesterday with mah boss. Only few of us in the office, so we decided to have long lunch. Yea, let’s round up Kenny, Nic, FBB for a round of yee sang. Any good ideas where?

    Drowned: Oops, just finish the last cookie *wipes mouth*

    FBB: But, but you put the idea in my head! Lucky you, WE selangor working people only get Thaipusam.

  7. savante
    February 1, 2009 | 3:55 pm

    What a cute CNY card filled with prsoperity and calories :)

  8. Nic (KHKL)
    February 1, 2009 | 4:24 pm

    ohhhh…do i hear lou sang? *swimming joyfully while singing da dong dong chiang song*

    woah, so nice to have 2 mondays off! 1st monday for lou sang, 2nd monday for vegetarian banana leaf rice. hmmm, i can only dream from across the causeway..sigh…

  9. qwazymonkey
    February 2, 2009 | 12:58 am

    savante: calories are part and parcel of every Malaysian holiday. the more major they get, the higher their calories are. that’s why we look forward to them all year round.

    Nic: It sucks to be me. I work in PJ, so no Wilayah day for me *sulks*

    As for Yee Sang, I’ve appointed an event organizer to do that for us. He can be contactable. His name is Kenny Mah.

    LOL

  10. thule a.k.a leo
    February 2, 2009 | 3:11 am

    officially gained 2kg since even of CNY until today… lol!!! Time to get back to diet regime like u said… hahaha!!! Otherwise my pants and jeans won’t fit anymore and I will have to change my entire wardrobe

  11. Wandernut
    February 3, 2009 | 4:26 pm

    ONG LAI SAMA LU!

  12. el the man
    March 10, 2009 | 12:59 pm

    I like the way you mentioned there’s always a way to pig-out, be it festivals, birthdays and any other excuse. Malaysians just love to eat, and proud of it!

    makan2food