Let’s talk dirty for a bit on this pissing Thursday morning.
The most undesirable thing for a foodie to have is food poisoning, resulting from the consumption of contaminated food, pathogenic bacteria, viruses, or parasites that contaminate food. Urgh!
And who should be so lucky to have that honour bestowed upon them? Yours truly! What greeaaaat fortune would it have not been if it wasn’t granted upon when one was busy enjoying a patriotic long weekend. Hence, one has been in hiding and exorcising the contents of one’s stomach like Linda Blair. The rest of the time, one was just tied to a bed. Blasted milkshake. Should have just stuck to Gin.
Off with their heads!
Anyway, I’m sure you’re not here to hear me rant about dirty food in my faux-Queenly accent (spending many hours sitting on the throne does that to you). We’ll leave that to the real Queen_UK. For those expecting some XXX-rated materials from the blog title, I can assure you that what I’m about to share is nothing short of erotic and would most definitely give a whole new meaning to the term “food porn“. And maybe, pop a bone or two for some of ya. *wink*
Some fella with too much free time on his hands (possibly bedridden and down with some form of foodborne illness too) and OCD editing skills has put some of amazingly steamy videos up on the youtube recently.
No need to wonder what Jamie Oliver’s sexy lisp sounds like in bed no more. Especially after he tells you, “I’ve got a a bit of a bone. It’s not hard, it’s just over a centimeter thick…”. Lovely!
But of cause, we can’t be talking dirty without the Sex Goddess of Food TV herself, Nigella Lawson, right?
“Who’s going to complain about the? scent of pussy whofting through the house…?”
Possibly the best line in the history of cooking shows… Ever! How can you not be charmed by that? It certainly made my days in bed.
Now, who’s looking forward to the weekend talking in the kitchen?